Thanksgiving Trick

Your mother was a beyond excellent cook, so every year you looked forward to her Thanksgiving dinner. Normally you'd dream about the perfectly juicy turkey, the creamy mashed potatoes, and the exquisitely balanced cranberry sauce all November, but this year was different. After having gained some serious quarantine pounds, you'd finally gotten serious about your fitness. And you'd done an amazing job! For more than a year you've been working out regularly, eating right, and most importantly: watched your portions. Last year you let yourself "cheat" for Thanksgiving and sorely regretted. Your body was now a finely-tuned fitness machine, and gorging yourself on your mother's cooking had thrown a massive wrench into that machine. Never before had you felt so bloated and groggy. It took a full week and then some to finally get back on track. No way you wanted a repeat of that fiasco this year, but you also definitely did not want to miss out on the feast.

The solution came to you in the form of your self-proclaimed "bachelor" (twice-divorced) uncle. He was as average and unremarkable as they came: average-height and overweight, he was as much a staple at the Thanksgiving table as rolls and butter. Normally he was somewhat reserved and unassuming, but once the wine started flowing he could ruin a perfectly pleasant family dinner in record time. Conspiracy theories, insults, and straight-up misinformation would rapid-fire from his stubbly mouth. An unlucky family member would be picked to babysit him and sit on the porch listening to his inane ramblings for the sake of everyone else. A smoker, drinker, and couch-potato, he was by no means watching his figure, which made him the perfect target for you.

An amulet thrifted from a bizarre antique store had completely changed your life. It was a simple, silver pendant that granted you the incredible ability to take over other people's bodies. You'd discovered this completely by accident. You were in line for the bathroom at your favorite club, feeling so good about your vintage necklace, when you bumped face-first into some kid who couldn't be older than twenty-two or twenty-three. You experienced something like vertigo, and suddenly you no longer needed to pee. Looking down, you couldn't recognize anything you were wearing, except for one thing: a simple medallion on a silver chain. After that you dedicated your free time to learning how to use and abuse the power of the amulet. Its rules were simple: to possess a body simply press the medallion against your target. To release your victim all you had to do was take the necklace off, and as quickly as you'd found yourself in someone else's skin, you'd be yourself again, amulet in hand.

Everything was ready and your plan was in motion. You'd convinced your mom that work was sending you to a super important conference right after the holiday, so you wouldn't be able to make it to the family dinner since you had to travel. Your uncle was on his way to your place under the pretense of you needing to borrow his pickup truck. After a while of waiting, you heard your doorbell ring. You greeted your uncle and let him in. As soon as his back was to you, you took the amulet in your hand and pressed it between his shoulder blades. In an instant you felt denser, and much heavier. You looked down and marveled at the beergut now obstructing your view. Putting your hands on it and jiggling it, you couldn't help but chuckle with your uncle's hoarse voice. You locked up your apartment and climbed into your uncles truck with some effort, still getting accustomed to your new weight. You put your new, calloused hands on the steering wheel and started the truck. You licked your stolen lips thinking about the total binger you were going to go on that night.